Divas 1/2 Marathon

After a cold, bleak two days, my mother & I ran the Divas 1/2 Marathon on a beautiful Sunday morning in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. We were up before the sun along with 4,400 other anxious women to embark on 13.1 fairly flat miles.

This year began with a turbulent take-off. Now it feels like this ride I am on has leveled off and is coasting in the right direction, beginning with this past weekend's difficult but fun race with my mother, almost exactly two months after the death of my father:

Another Moment in Monique's Mind...

Finding the motivation to write when you feel mentally exhausted is difficult. Finding the words to articulate what your already mentally exhausted self is feeling, well, that's a challenge.

Lately I've been wondering what my motivation has been behind certain decisions that I've made. The other day, I sat on my couch and stared at my television. Not because I was watching anything interesting but because I did not have the energy nor the desire to get up and do anything else. Instead of being productive or doing things of value around my house or with myself, I have been simply existing. I feel like I'm in a slump. A grim, empty slump to be exact.

This weekend, I hope to turn this continuing nose-dive into an ascension of positive growth. I am running the Divas 1/2 Marathon Race in Myrtle Beach, SC with my mother. Though I haven't been training as often as I should have been, I am still excited to attend this race and hopeful that it will give me the push I need to get my mind back on track. For the past month and 26 days have created this fog that just sits over me. It literally just SITS there! I don't know when the sun is going to peek through; I don't know if it's going to rain. I just walk around with it draping its dreary sentiments over me and frankly, it's time to part the clouds. I have a great life that is exciting and fun and I am missing it. I am blessed to have wonderful people in my life and I am missing them. It is time for a change.

Undesired

Yesterday I read a list of the Best Cities for Women on the Huffington Post. The city I reside in was not on the list at all. The criteria was based on educational attainment, annual salary and life expectancy. Ouch. That's three fourths of the areas I deem quite important! Thankfully the fourth area, "dating life", was not included on the list. Then again, maybe that's not a good thing...

A part of me wonders if Charlotte, NC would have made the cut if the Huffington Post list focused on or included dating. The other part of me KNOWS that the 'Queen City' certainly would not have made the cut if I had to judge from my own personal experience. Sorry fellas, but it is true.

Charlotte is a nice city to live in for the most part. I used to detest this place having relocated against my will from Miami, but over the years I have seen a growth in a positive direction...a growth that has rendered me stationary since 1994.

A Moment in Monique's Mind...

At 7:11am on Thursday, March 22, 2012, I got a call from my father's caretaker saying that my father passed away.


I've been trying to decide whether or not I wanted to write about my feelings publicly or not. I think that some of what I'm feeling will be kept private but there are some things that I don't mind sharing on my blog. Like the fact that I am doing horribly at sharing at all. This is because I have managed to avoid dealing with the circumstance altogether. You can call me Queen Monique of Avoidance! Now here it is, a month after my father's passing and I have come to this realization. Last week, my sister asked me if I've dealt with everything that has happened and while my initial reaction was to snap back, "of course! I'm faced with it everyday," I realized that giving that response would not be completely true.

Instead, I gave her words some thought. I noticed that I couldn't recall the last time I spoke about it. I remembered the last time I cried but I cried because of a card I received in the mail, then I promptly wiped away my tears and reclosed the emotional door to my heart.

In my defense, I have been quite distracted. This could either be a good or bad thing. I have had assignments to focus on, my job to focus on, and a chain of ailments that have garnered my attention. I fear though, that once the distractions dissipate, I will be left with the residue of his death and a volcanic emotional erruption will occur. That can't be good.

"What do you do to relieve stress and get through hard times?" I was asked by a friend of mine. I paused. I then hesitated before responding honestly, "I don't know. I've never had to deal with something of this magnitude. I guess I should write." He then asked, "why not dance?"

"Dancing is fun but it's not a true release for me, it's more like another distraction. Like therapeutic shopping," I said.

"So then write" he said calmly and ever so clearly, as if it were obvious. It resonated in my head for the next five seconds before I knodded in agreement.

The next afternoon I got a text message that read, "Don't 4get to write."

So I'm here, writing. I'm also writing in my journal but I tend to do that at night, which isn't always beneficial when I'm going through my day, carrying my thoughts and gaining more thoughts. I've coined this post "A Moment in Monique's Mind" and will name future posts this as well, as it will be a moment to take a personal break into the thoughts that haunt my brain.

Right now, I am going to figure out how to deal with all of this because doing the proverbial sweep under the rug accomplishes nothing. "Unfortunately Monique, you're just like your father that way. That's exactly how he dealt with things. You two are so much alike", said my mother.

Well then...I have some work to do.

Gift Items for the Fitness Minded Reader (Nov. 2011 Issue)

The holidays are upon us once again with every falling leaf and cool, brisk breeze. Thanksgiving means plenty of time spent with family, and tons of turkey and stuffing being stuffed into our stomachs. The next day is followed by lethargy and feelings of “Eater’s Remorse.” Questions enter your head like, “Why did I eat everything?” And you thus declare, “I need to find a treadmill, fast!” When in reality, the only exercise you partake in is walking the corridors of Southpark mall! Before you know it, December is upon us and, "Tis’ the season of giving," as they say. Well, a good way to overcome the Thanksgiving food guilt is by using December’s holiday season to purchase gifts that are fitness-related. Here are four fantastic fitness gift ideas that fitness columnist Dr. Ryan Shum and I have conjured up for your wish lists.