Day 36 -- HCG Diet

This past week's weight was certainly all over the scale! I would gain ounces, lose a pound, gain three pounds, lose two ounces, it just kept fluctuating. With only a week left, I won't be waltzing through the finish line, oh no; I am going to run as fast as I can and with all of my might! I am going to fight and push through until the finish!

And the determination has already begun. Though exercising is not recommended, I have been getting back into the habit of taking Zumba classes, using the Elliptical machine, lifting weights and walking more. Perhaps some of my exercises are creating muscle? Who knows. What I do know is that I hope to lose another 8 pounds by Thursday morning. A hefty goal yes, but I am behind the curve. A little self-pushing can't hurt, right?

• Total weight lost = 11.6 lbs
• 4.2 lbs lost last week
• Difference of measurements of my chest, arm, waist & thigh from last week:
• Chest: Remained the same
• Arms: -0.4
• Waist: -0.4
• Thigh: -0.7
• Abiding by daily doses of HCG drops = Yes
• Cups of water consumed daily = 4-5, 24oz cups at work daily, more at home
• Any aches or pains = No
• Any cheating? Occasional cheating occurs. It gets harder NOT to cheat during certain times of the month [hint, hint]. ARG!!

3 Months

The first trimester of anything I can think of, tends to be a critical time. The first 3 months in a new job is an important time for punctuality, displaying an ability to learn or adapt, wearing your best suits and exhibiting your diligence as a hard worker. The first 3 months of a pregnancy is often a time for miscarriages so one must be cautious and focused on being of good health. The first 3 months of a relationship (and often extended to 6 months or a year) is when you get to know someone and learn their habits, their likes, their desires and goals in life. The first 3 months is a time for monitoring. It is a time for change or growth.

Tomorrow marks exactly 3 months since Daddy died. Father’s Day was Sunday. As my sister put it in a beautiful card she mailed, it was our “First Father-less Day”. It’s the first of many, really. When speaking with an ex whom had also lost his father (many years ago), I asked him “when does it get better? When is it bearable?” He answered honestly, “it depends. Everyone is different…for me, I would say it was 2-3 years.” I know he is right. There will be a day when Father’s Day Sale emails from Nordstrom won’t bother me. Perhaps I won’t even notice.

These first 3 months for me have been turbulent, for lack of a better word. I had moments where I felt unsettled, moments when I would erupt with tears while on a highway for no apparent reason, moments when I don’t think about it at all. I am beginning to ask myself some questions and am hoping for comfort in the near future. My daddy’s nurse sent me a text the other day, saying that she misses him every day. I don’t miss my father every day. I think about him every day, yes. I reflect on past memories just about all the time, yes. Some days, I’ll just stare at his pictures in my house and wish I could have another “difficult conversation” with him, as I used to complain about having to myself in the past. I think about revisiting my true home of Jamaica and not going to my grandparents’ house, where he lived. I have friends that are getting married and with all of their planning, I can’t help but think that he will never know me as Mrs. Anybody, and I am saddened. All of this makes me sad just about every day but I don’t truly “miss” him because I know he is no longer suffering. His 7 years of suffering is over and I am happy for that. That certainly beats my 3 months of turbulence.

Day 29--HCG Diet

I am still very proud of my progress but I would be lying if I said I wasn't slightly disappointed. I was hoping to have been halfway to my goal by this date. A vicious goal? Perhaps. But the purpose of this diet is to lose a pound a day, minus the first two stuff-your-face days that they recommend. I figured with a few "cheat" moments, I still would have at least lost 20 by now.

What I am learning however, is that weight is being lost and probably at a healthier pace. I have also noticed that on the days that I don't drink as much water as I should, I don't lose nearly as much weight as I should (thanks for the reminder, Michelle!). I am reminding myself that these are all lessons I am learning along the way and my goal is still attainable. 16 days left!!

• Total weight lost = 9.2 lbs
• 2.4 lbs were lost last week
• Difference of measurements of my chest, arm, waist & thigh from last week:
• Chest: Remained the same
• Arms: -0.7
• Waist: -0.7
• Thigh:  -1.0 
• Abiding by daily doses of HCG drops = check, though it's still harder to remember the 3rd dosage due to nightly social activities
• Cups of water consumed today = half of one (it's still early though!)
• Any aches or pains? They're becoming few, actually. I don't feel hunger pains as much anymore
• Any cheating? Occasionally but not nearly as much...then there's the "accidental cheat" (that had corn in it?!)

Day 22 -- HCG Diet

Week 3 was tough.

I constantly had cravings for the enemy (chocolate) and still felt slightly hungry after eating meals, so I found myself cheating. I even broke down a couple of times by spoon-feeding myself dumb logic that "if they're chocolate covered raisins, they can't be that bad for you. I mean, they're raisins!"
Yes, I stooped that low.

But, I am occasionally very self-aware so I know that my desire for my comfort-food-go-to has augmented probably due to the impending arrival of Father's Day on Sunday. Thankfully, I have been losing inches even though I have disobediently maintained my weight for the past 2 days (as seen below). As I begin my 4th week, I will work harder on ignoring the urges to "cheat just a little" each day and remember my goal. I have done really well thus far, so why turn back now?

• Total weight lost = 7.6 lbs
• Take measurements of my chest, arm, waist & thigh = check
• Chest: -0.5
• Arms: -0.3
• Waist: +0.2
• Thigh: -0.4 
• Abiding by daily doses of HCG drops = check, though it's getting harder to remember the 3rd dosage due to nightly social activities
• Cups of water consumed today = 0 (currently having my morning tea)
• Any aches or pains? Hunger pains & headaches but only when hungry
• Any cheating? YES. I was bad this week.