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Friday, May 18, 2012

Another Moment in Monique's Mind...

Finding the motivation to write when you feel mentally exhausted is difficult. Finding the words to articulate what your already mentally exhausted self is feeling, well, that's a challenge.

Lately I've been wondering what my motivation has been behind certain decisions that I've made. The other day, I sat on my couch and stared at my television. Not because I was watching anything interesting but because I did not have the energy nor the desire to get up and do anything else. Instead of being productive or doing things of value around my house or with myself, I have been simply existing. I feel like I'm in a slump. A grim, empty slump to be exact.

This weekend, I hope to turn this continuing nose-dive into an ascension of positive growth. I am running the Divas 1/2 Marathon Race in Myrtle Beach, SC with my mother. Though I haven't been training as often as I should have been, I am still excited to attend this race and hopeful that it will give me the push I need to get my mind back on track. For the past month and 26 days have created this fog that just sits over me. It literally just SITS there! I don't know when the sun is going to peek through; I don't know if it's going to rain. I just walk around with it draping its dreary sentiments over me and frankly, it's time to part the clouds. I have a great life that is exciting and fun and I am missing it. I am blessed to have wonderful people in my life and I am missing them. It is time for a change.

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