It depicted some of the comments a naturally curly/kinky haired girl would have to endure, after blow-drying her hair straight. It was written as a week's worth of "compliments", so this was one of the days featured in the strip.
This picture really stood out to me because I too recently straightened my hair. I did it for my birthday... To just, have a different look for my pending celebrations of life; to try something new; to give myself a rest; to get my hair trimmed. Whatever my excuse, I enjoyed feeling each hair strand move whenever I moved. I enjoyed wrapping my hair at night, letting it loose in the morning without even having to brush it and it was "perfect." I enjoyed the little things, like being able to simply slide my sunglasses up my face while directly pushing back my hair, without breaking the sunglasses itself (you see, I've learned to take off the sunglasses and force them into my curly mane by shimmying them down into the scalp, forging room for them to sit comfortably, all while hoping I can get them out when I'm ready). I enjoyed last-minute ponytails. I enjoyed these benefits straight hair has... The benefits I've always known, having grown up with relaxed hair.
What I didn't enjoy were some of the comments. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE compliments. I take each of them as genuine thoughts and appreciate them all, no matter if I've heard "you look nice today" 437 times. I never take them for granted because let's be honest, no one HAS to say anything nice to anyone. It's not a law in life, for being courteous nor for good manners: It's something extra, that you thought to say, and it came from a good place in your heart. That's love. That's God. It's probably a tad too deep but it's how I feel, so I appreciate each compliment for those reasons.
But to repetitively hear, "you look nice like that!" can make a girl feel ugly... (But only in her natural state of course; not when it's straight like Kim Kardashian's). To hear, "you should do your hair like that ALL the time," can make a girl fee like 'well damn... It won't always be straight like this, so now what?' Even Beyoncé spends her morning sitting in hair & makeup for 5 hours to sing a song about how she "woke up like dis" (sorry Bey Hive, but it's true). What kind of message are we sending by openly saying to someone, "you're so beautiful with your hair like that"?
There's a fine line here and I recognize that. Some of the comments were sincere compliments because I don't straighten my hair often & therefore it IS a different look entirely and not to be taken as reverse criticism as to what I look like with curly hair. This I know and appreciate.
What has been interesting to see however, are the lack of compliments now that I'm curly again. It's
Iike those scenes in old western movies, when there's a deserted town except for that one tumbleweed blowing across the terrain.... That represents the number of compliments I've received! I'm actually laughing but it's true... I can't find one compliment on the horizon! And just so you know, I laugh because I don't take it seriously; I write about it because I'm fascinated by the topic.
I allowed some of the comments to get in a little and suddenly found myself figuring out how I'm going to straighten my hair more without sustaining the inevitable heat damage. I found myself believing that I was prettier that way and didn't wash my hair for 2 WEEKS in order to keep my hair bone straight i.e. beautiful. I got sucked in, I did. I'm human. I care. But really, we're just discussing perceptions of beauty. Normally, I think I'm beautiful both ways, so why let other perceptions cloud mine? And who knows, maybe people do think I'm ugly when I rock my natural hair and it's their right to have their opinion. Having curly hair (that occasionally gets straightened), somehow makes you subject to other people's hair opinions... Who knew! So, I have to be okay with that because due to my hair choices, people will continually place their "yays" and "nays" on me, warranted or not. Life was never like this when I had relaxed hair....
Tallncurly's comic strip ended with the reminder that the people that love you -that truly love you- will love you no matter what. Now THAT is beautiful.
What's your perception of beauty?
*M*
P.S.
See the entire aforementioned strip here: http://tallncurly.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/tallncurly_justoneofthesestraightweeks.jpg
P.P.S
Here I am.... Tall, curly and straight :)
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